Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Chapter 3: Hands




Note: A picture will be up either Friday or Saturday. From there on out, I'll be trying to post a picture prior to a story by one to two days.

Chapter 3
Hands

There was no time to doubt whether or not any of this was real. I had seen enough, and I had no time to decide. I had to act. I turned to the girl sitting next to me.

“I need your help.”

She didn’t even turn toward me. I had answered the phone, and now she was leaving me alone. How childish.

“There’s something on this train.”

She turned toward the window and looked out.

Maybe if she sees whatever-it-is that’s out there, I won’t even have to talk to her.

That didn’t happen. Maybe if I had waited longer, maybe. But I didn’t. I knew what she wanted. She wanted me to answer the questions from earlier.

“When you want to know someone’s name, it’s polite to introduce yourself first,” I said bitterly.

“Well then, introduce yourself!” she laughed.

I bit down on my lip.

“I’m Hank.”

“And I’m Grace,” she smiled. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

She lifted a hand toward me. I pushed her hand away.

“Introductions later. There’s—“

“So, do you have an aspect?” she asked.

“We don’t have time to answer questions. There’s something out—“

“If you want my help, you’ll have to have to answer my questions first.”

“What don’t you understand?” I burst. “Something’s crawling outside!”

The other people on the train began to shift uneasily.

“Shh,” she whispered. “Look, do you have an aspect?”

“I don’t know what that is.”

“Okay then.”

She stood up.

“Can I have everyone’s attention please?” she announced politely.

The other passengers turned toward her.

“My friend has a high fever and is quickly becoming delirious. For your own safety, please move to another car. Thank you!”

The other passengers began to leave. Some quietly walked toward the doors separating the cars. Some pushed aside others with their hands to escape contamination. Truly noble. In the end, Grace and I were the only ones left in the car. I didn’t know what I’d do now. I could still see the echoes pinpointing the creature’s location. It was above us. What would we do? I didn’t know.

The train jolted. The wheels screeched. The lights on the train began to flicker, and everything went black.

I found myself lying on the floor at one end of the car. It was dark, but my eyes slowly began to adjust to the meager light provided by the tunnel lamps. I saw Grace standing in the shadow.

“What happened?” I asked.

Then I saw something else in the shadow—something large and crawling along the ceiling toward her; something similar to a lizard but with limbs far more elongated and a tongue that constantly flicked in front of it.

Grace was facing the creature. She was holding a small silver tube. She removed the cap and twisted the bottom. Black lipstick rose from the tube.

“Of all times to put on lipstick, you choose now?” I shouted.

She turned toward me for a single second, but I saw her smile.

Though she was half covered in shadow, an additional strand crawled across her and into her hand. It stretched over the lipstick and formed that long black sword I had seen earlier.

The creature lashed its tongue at Grace, but with a swing of her sword, she sliced its tongue off. Very few lizards can make a sound, but this creature was no lizard. It roared in terrible pain, in guttural anger. It leapt toward her, but she sidestepped the attack and struck the creature with her blade. It crashed onto the floor beside me.

I looked at it for only a moment. It had no eyes, no ears, but its nostrils were flaring and snorting. I could see its tongue regenerating in its mouth as it began to roar. I got up and ran toward Grace. The echoes of the creature roaring showed in my mind that it had already recovered and was chasing me. It lashed its tongue out toward me. Grace was still too far away.

I reached toward her with my hand.

She lifted her sword and struck forward. The shadows crawled across her body and into her sword, lengthening the blade. It extended past me, and I heard it pass through flesh and strike metal. I turned back to see the creature’s skull impaled against the wall of the train. Its body began to bubble and disintegrate. Her sword retreated from her hand and into her shadow.

She then lifted her hand toward me.

Images and Text © Jonathan Lee

3 comments:

Neda said...

Hey Jon, so I told you I would get to your blog this week! I don't have any critique right now cause in my opinion your story is pretty amazing haha, but if I think of any I will let you know. I agree with Tommy that aspects are a really cool idea and I think I have already decided that I would like Hank and Grace as a couple :)

On a side note, your story kind of reminds me of a series called the Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare. It's not exactly the same, but for some reason if just reminds me of that series. I don't know if you've ever even heard of it haha.

Unknown said...

my few comments thus far:

don't go around pulling overpowered stuff (you know what i mean) in this book, like your last one.. i think thats partly why i was turned off by that novel.

i'm glad that any sort of fighting has been greatly reduced in length, as they were too long in the other story.

Hank/Grace are much cooler than Raediel, who I am not a fan of :P

perhaps more comments some other time.

Jack Plum said...

Haha. Good comments.

Neda - so I totally misread your message earlier. I thought you wrote that you decided you would like to see Hank and Grace as a couple. It can still be interpreted that way, but I understand that you'd enjoy the possibility of them being together. Still, this isn't a democracy.
I'm glad you and Tommy both find the idea of "aspects" interesting.
I've heard of the Mortal Instruments, but I haven't read it. I should check it out.

Timmy - thank you for reminding me of that fiasco on hiatus. Prior to the hiatus, I was actually cutting down on the ridiculous action because it's over-the-top. And I know you hated Raediel. You and Chris both hated him. Also, this may become a book in the future. I don't know. I'm actually focusing only on web-publishing for now, but I might want to release something bound in the future.